TwilightFanFic

Det är en peruk

Såhär skriver lainey-gossip:

 On Friday it was Twilight graduation and a first look at Kristen Stewart’s Bella hair. As I reported a couple of weeks ago, she did not want to have extensions added on to her Joan Jett hair. Love her for that. But this wig looks busted.

Så då vet vi det, det är alltså en peruk och inte hennes egna hår men jag tycker ändå att peruken är så sjukt snygg men kanske inte riktigt Bellastyle eller Kristenstyle iallafall tycker inte jag det

Psst gå in på lainey-gossip och titta in dem nya bilderna från Eclipse där jag också hittade detta inlägget, länk:

http://www.laineygossip.com/Kristen_Stewart_with_new_wig_shoots_graduation_scene_for_Eclipse.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

Jag är med i en tävling på twilightworld där man kan vinna En Twilight T-shirt eller Twilight pins/knappar från Cdon.com twilight sida.

Här är mitt tävlingsbidrag:

A Poem To Bella From Edward

I have restless walked on earth for a century

Until you came into my life

You turned my life upside down

I could not think of anything but you

My love to you can not be described

It will never fade away, it can not grow stronger

Because it is already as big as it could

I will love you for eternity, my whole existence

That will never change, I love you

No one could ever love you like I do; I’m sort of addicted to you

You are like a drug to me; you are like my own personal brand of heroin

When I left you, it was for your own good

When I heard that you had jumped, my world ended

I could not live anymore, you are my life

You are one of a kind Bella; no one could ever take your place in my heart

The main thing I want is for you to be happy

And if that is by you being with someone else, then that is what I want for you

I will stand behind you, Even if it makes me unhappy

But I will always love you, I will never forget

I just want you to be happy



Gå nu in på www.twilightworld.blogg.se och tävla! :D
Det är superenkelt och roligt ! :D

Ja, jag har tänkt på en sak...
När dom går på balen, vem står då vid spelbordet?

Jo, VICTORIA!
Man ser det på hennes päls och håret!

Om ni kollar så ser ni nog det ;D

Jag undrar bara en sak..
Varför kännde inte Edward lukten av henne ??

I shouldn't exist.
I should have died two years go. But I didn't and now I'm going to write down my story. The story of me becoming a vampire and finding the one thing I cared most of; my little daughter Hayley. Hayley was only two when I crashed into that stupid truck on my way home. It was in Seattle and I we're on my way home to New York where Hayley and my boyfriend Jack lived. But I never came that far. Because a big truck came and hit my car so I and the car flew into a wall. I was unconscious before I even hit the wall. A girl named Bella Cullen were passing by and saw the accident. She was determind on saving me, even if that should have been impossible. But she took me to her father-in-law and he helped her in a way that only they could do.

                                                                                                
                                                                                                          *~*~*

The pain was to much. I was nearly giving up but then my little daughters beautiful face was on my eyelids and I knew that I had to endure the pain to see her again.
  Suddenly the pain was decreasing and so did my scream. I knew that there was no point in screaming but it hurt so much.
Even more than the truck hitting my car and me in it. That was nothing. I didn't know what was happening to me. What could possibly hurt this much? I just wanted it to stop and then see my daughter. Suddenly I heard some voices over my scream, how could that be possibly? So high that I screamed. I couldn't even hear my own heartbeats. Oh, yes I could I realized.
  I tried to focus on my daughter's face but it just made all so much worse. Then it was the pain from whatever it was that
was happening to me and then the pain of not seeing my own daughter, my little Hayley.
  What was she doing in this precise moment? Was she asleep? Was she crying? That upset me and I let out a higher scream  than the others. To scream was natural for me now, I have done it like... I don't know how many seconds, minutes, hours or days.
  Hayley smiled in my head and I lingered on that smile. I saw her golden skin shine in the sun, how her black hair whirled in the wind, how her sweet dimples deepend the more she smiled. I remember the day I gave birth to her. It was the best day in my whole life. I screamed like this then too. I promised that she was my last child and I could easily hold on to that promise. I said that I would never take that much pain again and here I was taking even more pain than that. If I
could have laugh I would.
  I remember after the birth when I laid in the bed and hold her in my arms. She was so tiny, I was afraid of droping her,
but I knew that never would happen. She was my all; are my all. She was the person I went up at the mornings, she was the one I came home to every day after work. I loved her like nothing else. I could never love anybody else the way I loved her.
I knew that Jack hated that. He hated it so much that the first weeks he couldn't even look at our child. I refused to have
sex with him and that upset him. When I took Hayley to the bed, he got furios and screamed at me and throw things around him.
Hayley got really afraid and I tried to protect her and also comfort her. It was easier said than done.
  I was so caught in my memories that I didn't noticed at first that the pain had decreased. Now my feets and hands was free
from the pain. I smiled in my head but the only thing that was on my lips was a big O because of my screaming of course. I knew that I was supposed to stop but I couldn't. I wanted to die, die really hard but then Hayley's face flash before my
eyelids and I knew I had to keep going.
  More seconds, minutes and hours went and so did my pain. It felt nice but as more as the pain went ago a new pain came in my throat and it hurted too. But it wasn't like the other pain this pain was so different.
   The last pain I felt seized around my heart and my heartbeats got faster and faster. It fluttered away like a bird and
suddenly it stop. I stop screaming to and all I could hear was some close breath. I opened my eyes and saw nine pairs of
eyes study me.
"Finally, she's awake", a girl said and sighed in relief.

Förlåt om jag har stavat fel eller så men jag har inte riktigt läst igenom det och sen vet jag inte om varje ord är rättstavat eller så men nu när skolan har börjat kommer jag bli bättre på det hoppas jag, har varit ifrån engelskan rätt länge känner jag.

Så vad tycker ni om första kapitelet? Om ni tycker det är jobbigt att jag har kursiv text så säg bara till så kommer jag ändra på det

Beundrare av "Twilight"-skådisen Kristen Stewart kan glädjas åt att de snart får se ännu mer av henne.  

I sitt nästa filmprojekt "Welcome to the Rileys" ska Kristen nämligen spela strippa.  

19-åringen berättar för nyhetsbyrån Wenn att hon tror att filmen är en given succé redan på förhand eftersom många "Twilight"-fans säkert undrar hur hennes rollfigur Bella ser ut naken.  

- Det är en independentfilm som förmodligen ingen skulle gå och se annars, men nu blir det liksom "Åh vi går och ser Bella i strippfilmen" - det kommer bli helt galet!  

Helt odramatiskt har det dock inte varit för Kristen att spela in sina första nakenscener. Enligt uppgift var hon så nervös att hon bad sin "Twilight"-kollega Nikki Reed agera moraliskt stöd och följa med henne till inspelningen.  

- Jag ska följa med Kristen till New Orleans på en filminspelning. Jag är ett bra stöd, säger Nikki själv till sajten About.


Så vad säger ni kommer ni gå och titta på Welcome to the Rileys? Jag kan faktiskt säga att jag ska nog göra det bara för Kristen är med i den. Älskar henne och vill se alla hennes filmer

Dem närmaste veckorna spenderade jag och Nessie tillsammans. Jag brukade sova över mer och mer hos henne och vi hade lika roligt varje gång.
Bella brukade göra vår mat men hon åt aldrig själv. och det gjorde heller inte nån av Nessies andra familjemedlemmar heller göra för den delen.  Nessie sade att dem åt senare.
Bella gjorde underbar mat och jag åt mycket mer än hemma. Jag brukade aldrig prata med mamma och James mer. Kanske för jag aldrig var hemma mer. Jag var med Nessie, Jake och hennes familj mer än jag var med mamma. Mamma var så upptagen med James att hon märkte mig knappt. Till slut orkade jag inte ens komma hem mer så jag tog bara mina grejer och flyttade in hos Nessie. Alla var riktigt snälla mot mig och tog hem mig som jag var deras nya adoptivbarn. Nessie var överlycklig att ha mig där och jag var lika glad över att vara där.
Men en sak visste jag; det var något som inte stämde med the Cullens.
Först, deras ovanligt bleka hud. För de andra, deras iskalla hud.(Något som jag hade vant mig vid, men det var en liten chock att först ta i Nessies stekheta hud och sen deras iskalla hud).
För det tredje, deras ögon ändrade färg och det var ju helt enkelt inte normalt. Men jag kunde helt enkelt inte sätta fingret på vad det var som riktigt var felet. Fast det var ju inte precis något fel på dem bara konstigt, ovanligt. Men inget som gjorde att jag satt uppe om nätterna precis. Man bara vande sig helt enkelt, eller jag gjorde det iallafall. Dem andra på skolan var nog rädda för the Cullens. Dem pratade iallafall aldrig med dem och mer och mer började jag tänka på engelska. Okej, inte så mycket. Det var fortfarande mer naturligt att tänka på svenska.

                                               
Vi tog Nessies bil - som vanligt - till skolan. Vi pratade på hela vägen - som vanligt. När vi kom fram kollade alla på oss -
som vanligt. Allt var vanligt med Forks nu. Det var som om jag hade bott här i hela mitt liv och inte bara i en månad. För
första gången var jag glad över att mamma hade träffat James och flyttat hit. Mamma tyckte det var bra att jag sov över hos Nessie. För henne var det sova över. För mig var det hemma. Mamma hade fullt upp med sitt jobb och
James men hon försökte att ringa varje kväll. Ibland bara sms'ade vi, men det var okej för mig. Jag hade aldrig tråkigt
med Nessie och Jake. Jag hade kommit Rose mycket närmre. Alice var också min vän men inte som Rose. Emmet brukade skämta med mig och Jasper pratade ibland med mig om det var något fel eller så, mest faktiskt när det var något som var fel. Som till exempel gjorde mig orolig eller ledsen. Men mest pratade jag om sånt med Nessie. Jag visste helt enkelt inte vad jag skulle göra utan Nessie.
"We are going to Jake after school, just so you know", sade Nessie och väckte mig ur mina dagdrömmar.
"Okay", svarade jag kort. Vi var påväg till hennes lektion. Min lektion började senare.
"See you in lunch", sade Nessie när vi hade kommit fram till hennes klassrum där hon skulle ha sin nuvarnande lektion Vi kramades och sen gick jag mot min lektion.

Fyra lektioner senare satt jag och Nessie tillsammans i matsalen.
Hon pratade på vad vi skulle göra hos Jake senare i eftermiddag. Vi hade visst blivit inbjuda på middag hos Sam och Emily.
De firade att Emily var gravid. Men det skulle bara vi eftersom dem andra av Emily och Sams kompisar hade redan firat det dagen före. Men då hade jag och Nessie inte kunnat och Jake ville inte gå utan Nessie och Seth hade haft en fotbollsmatch så det var därför han skulle vara med idag också istället för igår.

Resten av skoldagen flög iväg och plötsligt satt jag och Nessie och pratade i bilen påväg till Emily och Sams hus.
När vi kom fram träffade vi Jake och Seth utanför. Nessie sprang fram till Jake och kysste honom. Jag ville inte vara oartig och gick därför fram till Seth och skakade hans varma hand. Den var lika varm som Jakes.
För att inte verka blyg tittade jag in i hans bruna ögon och han tittade in i mina blåa ögon. Plötsligt stelnade Seth till.  Jake
och Nessie tittade på Seth. "I-" började Seth och släppte min hand. Men hans ögon släppte inte mina och det var sån beundran i dem. Som en mamma kollade på sin nyfödda bebis. Som en blind man som för första gången såg solen. Som.... Jake kollade på Nessie. Med kärlek.  
Jag kände mig obekväm med hans blick och kollade bort. Men jag kände fortfarande hans blick på mig. Jag sneglade på honom och jade rätt, han kollade fortfarande på mig.
"Seth?", sade Jake och satte hans hand framför Seths ögon med några centimeter ifrån och drog den upp och ner för att se om Seth var kvar. Seth puttade bort Jakes hand med tog inte ifrån hans blick från min.

Det hade varit en pinsam middag. Emily var riktigt söt och snäll och när Sam tittade på Emily påminde det mig om blicken som Seth hade kollat på mig genom middagen. Han hade inte slutat titta på mig, inte för en sekund.
Det var som om han inte kunde titta bort, rädd att jag skulle försvinna ellet något. Jag visste inte vad det var med honom
och jag kunde heller inte fråga honom. Det var jag alldeles för feg för.
Var Seth kär i mig? Men det kunde han ju inte vara. Jag menar vi hade ju bara träffats i några minuter och inte yttrat oss något. Hur kunde han vara kär i mig då? Men det var han säkert  inte. Han kanske bara tyckte om mig... tyckte att jag var snygg. Men herregud vad tänker jag på? Hur självisk kan man vara?
Det kanske bara var att jag hade något mellan mina tänder eller något.
"You're awfully quiet tonight, lots on your mind?" Nessie väckte mig ur mina dagdrömmar. "You know, I think Seth's in love with you", fortsatte hon och fnissade. Jag tappade hakan. Hade Nessie också sett det? Nessie började skratta ännu högre när hon såg mitt ansiktuttryck. Jag stängde min mun. "Do you really think so?" frågade jag tveksamt och tittade ut genom fönstret. Vägen flög förbi utanför.
"Absolutely, didn't you see the look he gave you all night?" svarade hon självsäkert.
"Yeah, but that could have been nothing." Jag tittade på Nessie igen och hon tittade på mig med höjda ögonbryn.
"I don't think so, then why would he even have bother to look at you all night?" Jag skrattade ett litet nervöst skratt.
"We just have to se, don't we?" Nessie sken plötsligt upp. "What it is?" Sen var det som om hon kom på att jag var där och skakade på huvudet. Hon kunde vara så konstig ibland men hon var iallafall min bästa vän och ingen - inte ens en pojkvän - kunde förändra det.


Förlåt att jag inte har lagt in ett nytt kapitel förrän nu men har börjat skolan nu i veckan så de har inte blivit så mycket skrivande och sånt för min del. Men ska försöka ändra det :)

"In that moment, as the minister said his part, my world, which had been upside down for so long now, seemed to settle into its proper position. I saw just how silly I'd been for fearing this - as if it were an unwanted birthday gift or an embarrassing exhibition, like the prom. I looked into Edward's shining, triumphant eyes and knew that I was winning, too. Because nothing else mattered but that I could stay with him."

Delta Goodrem - Fragile

"He looks at you like . . . like you're something to eat,"
- Mike, Twilight, page 221

Forget her romance with Robert Pattinson for a moment.

There's a another issue facing Kristen Stewart as she prepares to film Eclipse in Vancouver:

What the heck will she do with her short, dyed hair, which she sported for her role as Joan Jett in The Runaways over the last two months?!?

"To get that pigment out is going to be very difficult," admitted the Twilight Saga cast's colorist, Stuart Gavert, to Life & Style.

So, what's a stylist to do?

"I'd bleach her hair to remove the color, then condition it and match it to the weave she wears in the film."

Vilket hår tycker ni Kristen passar bäst i? Lång eller kort?                             

Kapitel 4

Jag hade väldigt svårt att sova. Jag tänkte bara på Nessie och hur hon hade tittat på mig. Men efter några timmar somnade jag utmattat.

När jag vaknade och kom på att det var lördag trycktes jag ner i sängen igen av besvikelse. Men jag tvingade mig upp och ta på mig kläder och gå ner till mamma och James. Men ingen var hemma och på köksbordet låg det en lapp där det stod att dem var ute och firade att vi hade flyttat hit, dem hade inte viljat väcka mig och då slog det mig att jag hade ingen aning om vad klockan var. Jag sneglade upp på klockan som hängde på väggen. När jag såg vad visarna stod på tappade jag hakan – kvart över tre.

Jag tog ett äpple ur skålen som stod på disken och gick fram till telefonen och telefonboken.

Jag var tvungen att höra hur Nessie mådde.

Jag slog upp C i telefonboken och letade efter Cullen. Efter några sekunder hittade jag Cullen Carlisle, Nessies adoptivpappa. Jag tog upp telefonen och slog numret. Efter bara en ringning svarade någon.

”Hello?” sade en underbar kvinnlig röst. Men det var inte Rosalies utan denna hördes mer vuxen.

”Hi, it’s Kristen. Who am I taking to?”

“It’s Esme, who are you looking for?” svarade den underbara rösten.

“Is Nessie there?”

“I’m sorry, Kristen, but she’s down at La Push.” Besvikelse svepte över mig igen.

“Oh, with Jacob, right?”

”Yes, do you have a car? I can give you directions.” Ännu mer besvikelse. Dumma svenska lag att man inte får köra bil förrän vid arton.

”No, in Sweden you don’t get to drive until you’re eighteen.”

“Do you want me to send someone who can drive you there?” Jag lyste upp men sen kom jag på hur Nessie hade sett ut igår.

”Do you really think she wants to see me? You should see her face yesterday”, sade jag sorsget. Esme horde nog det.

“She wasn’t feeling so good yesterday, she loves you, Kristen. I know it’s a bit soon to say that but she does. You’re the first who likes her back and want to be her friend for who she is and not for the money.” Jag blev varm I hela kroppen.

“Do you really think so?” frågade jag försiktigt.

”I know so”, sade hon bestämt. Om Esme säger så måste det ju vara sant och som hon hade sagt jag och Nessie hade bara känt varandra i tre dagar men det kändes som tre år. Det var underbart. Jag förstod ändå inte hur man kunde bli så bra vänner så snabbt.

”So, am I going to send someone over or not?” frågade Esme lent.

“It would be really nice of you, thank you.”

“Emmet, Nessie’s adoptive brother are there in five. Bye, Kristen, it was nice to talk to you. I hope we’ll see each other soon.” Sen lade vi på. Jag sprang uppför trappan och tog min mobil och en penna och ett papper. Sen skrev jag till mamma att jag var med Nessie. Jag sprang ner till köket igen och lade lappen på köksbordet sen hörde jag någon tuta utanför och jag tog min jacka och skor och sprang ut.

Förlåt att jag inte har kunnat lägga in så många inlägg men som tur är har Bella varit riktgt flitig :D

Det är så att min kusin har varit här i fem dagar och sen i helgen var jag inte hemma

Så därför har jag inte kunnat se den andra riktiga new moon trailern och nu har jag sett på många bloggar att dem inte går att se men lilla jag gick in på youtube och letade fram en som går att se fast den är filmad från bion så det är väääldigt dålig kvalite men ändå värt att se :D

Men på nått konstigt sätt kan jag inte lägga in en video :( eller länka :( så om ni vill se den får ni gå in på youtube och söka på: New moon official trailer #2 in english

tänkte oxå lägga in en annan video med en intervju från TCA  men som sagt kan inte göra det får gå och kolla om det går på mammas dator sen så kanske det kommer ett annat inlägg till med dem :D

plus kommer försöka skriva två kapitel i veckan :D

"I can't remember what my normal life is like,"  he admitted in one of his quieter moments.

"Because of internet stuff and Twitter, there will be a crowd if you are in a place for more than half an hour.

"I've learned never to stay in the same place for more than 20 minutes."

He laughed, seemingly still amazed at the Beatles-like level of fandom he has following him.

While many would love that kind of adulation, anyone watching Robert when doing interviews will see he finds the situation difficult to deal with.

Jag tycker synd om Rob!

Läs hela artikeln här!

"Sleep, my Bella. Dreams happy dreams. You are the only who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."

Edward Cullen, Eclipse , page195

I've run out of complicated theories
So now I'm taking back my words
and I'm preparing for the breakdown
Your t-shirt's lost its smell of you
And the bathroom's still a mess
Remind me why we decided this was for the best

Because I miss you love
I miss you love
I miss you love
I miss you
Love..

I know the distance is a factor
But I stretch as often as I can
My goal's to reach your hands any day now
Please don't blame me for trying
To fix this one last time
I have a hard time as it is

Don't act like you don't know me
It's still me I never changed
I'll be here when you come back

And I miss you love

I miss you love
I miss you
love..

Gick och hämtade posten, och gissa vad som kom på?
Jo en AVI från Discshop! :D
Gissa hur glad jag vart då!
ska åka in senare idag och hämta ut Postern som jag vann på twicandy! :D

jag valde denna:


Vill hämta den nuu x'D

PS!
Skolan börjar snart för många(bl.a mig), och då kommer jag kanske inte orka att sitta och blogga så mycket. Men jag kommer såklart blogga och skriva på min fanfic! ;D

Dagens låt får bli:

I'm broken

"Just because I'm not looking doesn't mean I don't see..."
Alice Cullen, New Moon, page 438

Jag känner för att dela ut lite skratt (hoppas jag)
Så här kommer lite roliga bilder:


Va? Vad sa du? Har du ett sexpack... Med Cola?

Maybe THIS will show him who the boss is.
Damn! Is this because I didn't put down the toilet seat?

What do you mean
"Im too young for Edward Cullen?"

I've been here every night... watching you sleep...
Oh Edward! That is ever so romantic!
Stalkers - They are NOT Romantic. They're CREEPY. Call the cops.


-Hammer time
-OMG Edward Cullen!



Kom ihåg!
Länka oss/ha oss som källa om du tar något från bloggen.

Chapter Seven

"Don't worry, Bella. There was nothing important." Carlisle said when I sat in his office asking him about what Alice had seen. He was lying, I could see it. He was the one who could lie the best in this family, but this time he didn't succeed with the lie.

  I looked at him with a gaze that was accusing. He looked back and sighed.

  "Bella, just trust me. Don't worry; the rest of us will take care of the problem."

  Problem? What problem? Would there be other vampires here, some nomads? No, then he would want me them. I can't come up with anything reasonable.

  "Bella, please don't worry about it. Okay?" He looked at me like he was trying to make me think of something else by his force of mind.

  "How? Please tell me how I could not think about it." I responded. Did he really think that I couldn't worry about it when I don't know what it is?

  "I know it is hard for you, Bella. But please, trust us. We will take care of this." He looked deeply into my eyes and then his mouth became a narrow line. "Maybe you'll need to hunt. Why don't you hunt now, maybe that will make you think of other things?" He putted a hand on my shoulder and then went out the door.

  What? Why? Huh. "Hunt?" I said, but it was too late. He was already downstairs with the others. They whispered something that even I couldn't hear.

  Maybe I would go hunt. Then I wouldn't think of what they talked about. I got a strange feeling in my gut. A feeling I've never felt before. It was a stinging pain. I could live with it, but what was that? I shook my head and went out the office door. Perhaps I just needed to hunt, it have been some time since I hunted the last time.

  I sat down on the fallen tree I sat on the last time I was out hunting. I was full with the blood from one mountain lion and two deer's.

 This time I had a new problem, sitting on the fallen tree.

  What did Alice see? I guess it was about me. The gaze she gave me when Jasper dragged her out of the room was kind of intimidating. But Alice would tell me if there was something that would happen to me, right? Well, I thought Carlisle would. And he didn't, so why would she? I sighed and took a deep breath, the smell of green moss and forest was so strong that it was almost disgusting.

  What if it wasn't about me? What if it were about Jake? No, now I just worry, too, much. Alice couldn't see Jake and the others in the pack.

  Many thoughts ran trough my min, but none felt like it was right.

  Carlisle was right; I shouldn't worry about this. He said that they were taking care about this, so I will trust them.

  I raised myself up to standing. I was going to Jake's house. I needed to see him, to make me think about something better than this. All I thought of was Jake's face while I ran towards his house.

Hoppas ni tyckte om kapitlet, kommentera gärna! :D

Jag har tänkt såhär;
Jag lägger inte ut några videor, information eller likande om Teen Choice Award som avslöjar vilka som vann förens det har gått i Sverige.
Endel tycker det är tråkigt att få reda på vilka som vinner innan dem sett det.


Så Videor kommer när det varit i sverige!

Bjuder på bilder istället:

Dom helt underbara Nikki och Ashley

Kellan, Robert och Jackson

Kristen Stewart

Robert Pattinson

Taylor Lautner


Vem tycker ni var snyggast?

Nu är vi två på denna blogg, Bella och Ebba! :D

Så vi tänkte;

Ni kanske vill veta lite mer om oss?

Så, här kommer lite information om oss:

Hej!

- Jag heter Isabell (kallas oftast Bella) och bor någonstans i Sverige. ;D

- Jag bara älskar The Twilight saga och ska berätta hur jag vart beroende. ^^

- En kompis till mig gick på biopremiären med ett par kompisar och älskade sedan filmen. Hon försökte få mig att kolla på den, men ingen hade filmen. *suck*

Sedan kollar man igenom brorsan hemladdade filmen (Fy, fy! ;D) och gissa vad man hittade? Jo, Twilight! :D Gissa hur glad man blev då!

Då kollade man på den med kompisen, och jag fastnade i beroendet direkt! Sedan "tvingade" jag en annan kompis att kolla, och hon fastnade hon med.

Jag läste även hela första boken högt för en annan kompis på sommarlovet och sedan kollade vi på filmen, och nu älskar hon Twilight hon med! :D
Och jag följer ett tiotal svenska bloggar och ungefär fem engelska Twilight bloggar.

Okej, nu ska jag erkänna en sak ..
Twilight har blivit en drog för mig, och jag kan inte vara utan Twilight en hel dag.

När jag är med kompisar så kommer jag alltid på ett sätt att få något Twilight relaterat på tal, och det irriterar mina kompisar sig på. ;D

-Min musiksmak är ombytlig, så jag lyssnar på olika låtar och olika genrer av musik med. :)

Kapitel 3

Resten av dagen satt jag, Renesmee och Jacob och pratade och skrattade. Renesmee sade att jag skulle börja kalla henne för Nessie på grund av att alla hon gillade gjorde det. Det värmde mitt hjärta. Men sen var det dags att åka hem och det gjorde mig, uppriktigt sagt, ledsen. Jag orkade inte åka hem till mamma och James. Jag orkade inte sitta uppe på vinden och ruttna. Jag ville vara kvar hos Nessie och Jacob och deras värme.

Esme, Nessies adoptivmor, körde mig hem. Mamma var tacksam för hennes vänlighet och jag visste vad hon tänkte; hon skulle aldrig göra det själv. Esme tackade själv och kysste mig på kinden innan hon åkte.

Sedan var jag själv och jag gillade det inte. Jag saknade redan Nessie och hennes leende, hur hon kramade mig och tittade på mig. Jag visste att vi var bästa kompisar och att det inte fanns något som kunde sära på oss nu. Jag brydde mig inte om att hon var femton och jag sexton. Det var ju trots allt bara en siffra.

För att inte känna av för mycket av ensamheten gjorde jag mina läxor och somnade sedan direkt när jag gått och lagt mig.

I skolan dagen efter försökte jag och Nessie träffa varandra så mycket vi kunde. Efteråt kom Jacob och hämtade oss i Edwards bil. Han såg väldigt obekväm ut och sedan fick jag reda på att det var för att han brukade köra motorcykel och gillade det dessutom mycket bättre; att känna vinden i håret. Nessie sade att hon hatade det och att hon alltid var rädd att ramla av. Jag kunde förstå henne. Pappa hade brukat köra runt mig på hans i Sverige. När jag tänkte på det kände jag tårarna bränna i mina ögon. Jag sköt undan den tanken innan mina tårar började rinna, men Nessie hade sett hur mina ögon hade blivit tårfyllda och sträckte ut en hand och lade den på min kind. Jag hoppade till lite. Hennes hand var så varm, varmare än den borde vara. Jag såg på henne att hon skulle ta bort sin hand, men istället lade jag min hand över den så hon inte skulle ta bort den.

"What's wrong?" frågade hon ängsligt.

"Nothing really, just a bad memory", svarade jag henne och log. Hon log tillbaka.Jag släppte hennes hand, men hon höll fortfarande kvar sin på min kind och jag kände att hennes varma hand började brännas lite på min hud. Nessie bet sig i läppen och släppte sen sin hand riktigt snabbt. Jag öppnade min mun för att fråga vad som var fel men Jacob hann före mig.

"We're here", sade han och vände sig om och tittade på Nessie. "Nessie", sade han skrämt. Nessie tittade ner på hennes händer i hennes knä och en tår föll nerför hennes kind. Jacob sträckte fram hans stora hand och tog bort den. Sedan satte han tummen på hennes haka och hans pekfinger under och lyfte upp hennes ansikte. Hon stirrade rakt in i hans ögon och Jacob lutade sig fram och kysste Nessie på hennes läppar. Fast det var en snabb var den full av kärlek och passion och jag var tvungen att titta bort. Den kändes som en privat sak som dem verkligen inte borde göra bland folk.

"Can you drive Kristen home? I'm not feeling so good."

 Jacob nickade och några sekunder efter var Edward där och efter honom kom Bella. Edward öppnade dörren och slet ut Nessie. Han kramade hårt om henne och strök hennes hår. Bella böjde sig ner och Jacob rullade ner rutan.

"Drive her home, please", sade hon och Jacob nickade. Jag var så chockad, jag hade ingen aning om vad som hade hänt. Hade jag gjort något fel? Jag gick igenom vad som precis hade hänt och kunde inte komma på något speciellt.

Jacob startade bilen och backade ut. Edward höll fortfarande om Nessie, Bella stod bredvid och pratade med dem och smekte Nessies hår. Hennes andra hand låg på Edwards arm och Edward kollade på henne och sade något. Jag tittade ut igenom rutan där skogen svischade förbi. Jag kunde inte titta på den lilla lyckliga familjen, eller okej så lycklig var den kanske inte just nu, men ändå rätt lycklig. Okej, så det var en väldigt lycklig familj förutom nu.

 Var det jag som hade gjort något fel? Jag hade sagt nej innan, men nu var jag inte så säker längre

Chapter Six

To make mistakes is human, but to forgive is divine.

Yeah, but I'm not either of them!

  "Alice, don't even bother. I won't forgive you. Nothing you do will make me forgive you for what you did." I growled at her when she was trying to speak. Maybe I was thick-headed for not letting her explain herself. But what she did was unforgettable; if it weren't for her I would have left Jake alone by now.

 Her head lowered and she made deep and loudly sigh. She turned slowly around, maybe letting me have time to stop her. But I didn't plan to stop her, I didn't want to see her for a long time.

  I turned my head towards the TV-screen and realized that I watched a program that was called ‘Forgive and forget'. What an irony.

  "Alice" I sighed out her name. I didn't wan to give her any false hoping. She turned around so fast that if she wouldn't have been a vampire, she would probably have fallen down of dizziness.

  "Yes" She answered and sounded happy and surprised, and that is probably acting, she knew that I was going to let her explain.

  "Okay, give me you're best shot." I said and turned the TV sound on mute. She better have a good explanation.

  "I just wanna start out by saying that I'm glad you're giving me a chance to talk." She said and came over to me and sat down beside me at the couch.

  "Yes, so use the right words then." I just had to add. I would stop listen if she said anything I didn't like, and she just had to live with it.

  "Yes, thanks. I love you Bella, and you're my favourite sister. I would die if you left me." I looked at her accusing. She wouldn't die if I would leave. "I'm serious" She said when she saw my face expression. "You're by best friend, you're my sister and you're my... Well maybe you think I'm being stupid, but if you left. A part of my heart would disappear, I wouldn't be complete without you." She looked deeply into my eyes and I guess she saw that I had already forgiven her, but she continued "So I did what I had to do, I knew you couldn't leave him if you stood face-too-face with him..."

  I knew she had been forgiven since she even opened her mouth. No one could ever be mad at Alice for long.

  I hugged her and whispered "You're my favourite sister, too."

  She sighed and then looked at me.

  "Thank you, I wasn't really sure if you would forgive me. But you did. Thanks." I made a small laugh, she knew since I made up my mind about letting her explain herself.

  "Alice, I'm being really honest with you now, I forgave you when you first opened you're mouth. No one could ever be mad at you, and I guess you know that." I said and looked at my favourite sister's black eyes. They were starring at something that no one but she could see.  

  She was having a vision, and I guess it wasn't that good. She looked terrified.

  "Alice, what do you see?" I asked her, and by then I whished that I could read her mind.

  "No, please. No, no, no." Alice moaned. "Why?"

  I didn't have time to ask her anything more before Jasper came down the stairs and into the room. He sat down at the couch's armrest and laid an arm around her shoulders.

  "Alice what's wrong? What did you see?" Jasper asked, probably worried if something would happen to someone of them.

  "No, no. Please! How could this happen?" She moaned while Jasper dragged her out of the room. She looked back at me with a terrified look at her face. What had she seen?

  I started to follow but Jasper gave me a gaze that froze me. I just stared at their backs while they walked upstairs to the others that were in Carlisle's room.

  What the hell did she talk about? Would something happen to anyone? Would someone get hurt? And why did she look at me that way?

  My thoughts flied around while I went back to the TV to watch something that could make me think of something else for a while.

  The TV didn't help that much, I still thought of what Alice had seen.

  Many thoughts had run through my mind when I heard that someone opened Carlisle's door. Would someone tell me what she saw now? Probably not, but I could at least try to get something out of Carlisle. He can't keep quiet if there is something that will happen to anyone of us.

  And if anyone would get hurt, then someone would tell me. Right?


Kommentera gärna! :D <3

Kapitel Två

Renesmee? Gud vilket vackert och ovanligt namn.

"Renesmee?" Var jag tvungen att fråga.

"Our daug... Edward's sister", svarade Bella. Jag undrade om hon först hade tänkt säga "Our daughter", men det skulle ju vara omöjligt eftersom hon bara var några år äldre än mig.

"I should go", sade Edward ängsligt och hans blick flackade mellan mig och Bella.

"What are they doing?" frågade Bella honom.

"They're picking on her style", sade Edward med ihop bitna käkar.

"Alice will flip when she hears that. I hope she doesn't decide to come down here personally. Then I don't feel sorry for Renesmee, then I would get away as fast as possible if I were the kids who're picking on her", suckade Bella. "I'll take care of this, I will be right back", fortsatte hon och gick sen iväg.

Sen var det bara jag och Edward kvar. Det blev pinsamt tyst, ingen sade något. Jag gillade Bella mycket mer än jag gillade hennes pojkvän. Bella var riktigt snäll medan hennes pojkvän såg väldigt obekväm och sammanbiten ut som om han bara ville ta tag i Bella och springa härifrån.

"I should probably go", sade jag och pekade med båda händerna till höger. Edward överraskade mig med att skaka på huvudet.

"No, please stay just until Bella comes back. She really wants to say goodbye to you", förklarade han och direkt när han sade det blev jag varm i hela kroppen.

"How old are you?" frågade jag honom.

"Seventeen", sade han och bet sig i läppen.

"And how old are Bella?"

"Nineteen", svarade han. Det överraskade mig faktiskt lite. Varför förstod jag inte.

"Where are you from?" frågade han nyfiket.

"Sweden", suckade jag.

"Oh, so that's why I don't understand your thoguhts", muttrade han riktigt lågt.

  Jag fick riktigt anstränga mig att höra vad han sade, men som tur var kunde jag läsa på läpparna. Innan jag hann fråga vad han menade med det var Bella och en annan tjej där. Hon hade samma bleka hud och rödbrunt hår ,som var lockigt och helt underbart, ner till hennes midja. Det var samma nyans som Edward och det var då jag fattade att detta var Renesmee, hans syster.

"I hate them", muttrade hon och såg upp på Edward.

"I know you do sweetheart, but it's okay. You can tell Alice about them and then she probably will come down here and talk to them herself", tröstade Edward henne.

"I guess, but I like this clothes", sade hon och tittade ner på hennes kläder. Hon hade ett par fräcka rosa jeans på sig och ett glittrig svart linne som var riktigt snyggt, i alla fall enligt mig. Jag gillade också hennes klädstil, men antog att den här Alice nog klädde henne och att hon hade väldigt god smak i kläder.

"Nessie, this is Kristen", sade Bella och gjorde en gest med ena handen mot mig. Renesmee vände sig om och tittade mig in i ögonen. Hon hade varma, choklad bruna ögon. Ett leende spred sig på hennes läppar när hon såg mig. Jag sträckte fram handen men istället så gick Renesmee fram och kramade mig. Jag log och kramade henne tillbaka.

"I'm Renesmee but you already knew that, didn't you?" frågade hon leende.

"Yeah", sade jag och rodnade. Renesmee och Bella skrattade men Edward var tom I blicken.

"Nessie", varnade Edward med skarpa ögon på henne.

"Oh, please da... Edward. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please!" bad hon.H ennes händer var knäppta so är man ber, vilket hon nu antagligen gjorde. Jag förstod inte vad dem pratade om och det gjorde Bella heller inte för hon såg väldigt förvirrad ut. Men hon vågade såklart fråga.

"What are you talking about?"

"Can Kristen come home to us today? Please, I so want a friend." Jag log. Jag ville också få en ny vän precis lika mycket som Renesmee, även fast jag inte riktigt visste varför hon bara ville bli kompis med mig bara sådär.

"Yes", sade Bella och log mot mig.

"Bella", varnade Edward och kollade på Bella med en menande blick. Men Bella höll bara upp ett finger.

"Don't", sade hon bara. Jag förstod ingenting av vad dem sade.

"I have to call my mom first. Hold on sec." Renesmee pep till och började hoppa upp och ner medan hon klappade händerna. Jag vände ryggen om och tog upp min mobiltelefon.

"Mamma, jag följer med en ny kompis hem. Jag försöker fixa skjuts hem sen", sade jag och lade på. Jag orkade inte höra på hennes tjat. När jag vände mig om stod Bella, Edward och Renesmee med huvudena tätt ihop och viskade. Jag orkade inte anstränga mig för att läsa på läpparna men när jag kom lite närmare hörde jag Edward säga: "It's to dangerous, Renesmee. Bella, you remember don't you?"

"Of course I do, but this is different, Edward."

"How can it be diff...?" började Edward men jag avbröt honom.

"Eh, it was okay." Jag hoppades att eftersom jag sade det så kanske de trodde att jag inte hade hört.

 Edward tittade på mig med en hatisk blick som jag inte förstod, visste han att jag hade hört lite av deras samtal? Jag tittade på Renesmee istället och hon log ett underbart vackert leende som visade hennes vita, raka tänder.

  Renesmee tog min hand och drog med mig ut till parkeringen. Hon drog mig tills vi stod framför en silvrig Volvo, då stannade hon men släppte inte min hand.

  Bella och Edward kom några sekunder senare och Edward öppnade bilen och vi satte oss i den. Renesmee pratade och log mot mig hela tiden. Jag var så uppslukad i vårt samtal att jag helt glömde bort tiden och såg inte var vi körde. Edward hade stannat bilen inne i ett grått garage. Bredvid Volvon stod fem otroligt snygga, och dyra, bilar . I ett hörn av garaget stod en stor motorcykel och en lite mindre.

  Vi hoppade ut ur bilen och Renesmee tog min hand igen och släpade mig in i huset. Vi kom till ett stort vitt rum där det stod en vit soffa med en fåtölj bredvid och en stor plasma-TV hängde på väggen. En vit flygel stod i ena hörnet.

  Nerför den stora trappan kom en tjej så vacker att jag tappade andan. Hon var det vackraste jag någonsin hade sett i hela mitt liv och skulle aldrig någonsin se en vackrare person än hon. Hon hade långt blont hår och hennes ögon hade en nyans av mörk gyllenbrunt. Hennes hud var lika blek som Edward, Bella och Renesmee. Den blonda tjejen gick och satte sig på soffan vänd mot oss.

"Rose, where are the others?" frågade Bella henne. Den vackra kvinnan som hette Rose ryckte på axlarna.

"Rose, this is my new friend Kristen. Kristen this is Rosalie, my godmother and adoptive sister", berättade Renesmee upphetsat. Rosalie avfyrade ett underbart leende mot och jag slutade andas för några sekunder.

"It's really nice to meet you, Kristen", sade hon och hennes röst var kvar i rummet flera sekunder efter hon hade stängt munnen, så vacker var den. Jag hade inte en tanke på att svara.

"Is Alice home?" frågade Renesmee Rosalie.

"No, she's out with Jasper, Carlisle, Esme and Emmet", sade hon och suckade.

"Wait, are you here all alone?" frågade Bella.

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" snäste Rosalie. "You're afraid that I'm going to go throw your clothes and see if you have something nice, don't think so. Sorry Bella, but you have horrible taste when it comes to clothes."

Bella skrattade och gick fram till Rosalie och gav henne en kram. Sedan gick hon och satte sig bredvid Rosalie.

"You could have called us and told that you were alone and needed some company", sade Bella och strök Rosalies arm.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I don't mind being alone, except for Emmet of course. But I just wasn't that hungry", berättade Rosalie. Bella och Renesmee sneglade på mig men sade inget.  Utan någon förvarning tog Renesmee tag i min hand och drog mig uppför två trappor. Det var knappt att jag ens behövde röra mina ben, hon drog mig med sådan kraft att jag nästan flög fram.

  Vi kom in i ett rum med en stor säng, lädersoffa och massa hyllor med musik och en avancerad stereoläggning. Väggarna var täckta med glas och man såg en flod utanför. Renesmee satte sig ner på sängen och drog mig med sig.

"This is my room", berättade hon. Jag tittade runt och log sen mot henne.

"It's awesome", sade jag och petade henne på armen. Renesmee log ett bländade leende och började kittla mig. Jag skrek och rullade ner på golvet. Renesmee fortsatte och kittla mig på golvet och efter några minuter slutade hon och vi låg bara på golvet och skrattade. Det var den härligaste känslan någonsin och för första gången jag hade flyttat till Forks kände jag mig bekväm. Vi skrattade tills någon knackade på dörren. Renesmee reste sig upp och tog ett skutt till dörren som gjorde att jag började fnissa. När hon öppnade dörren och såg vem det var kastade hon sig i armarna på honom. Renesmee kom in med besökaren. Hon höll honom i handen och den andra handen låg på hans arm.

"Kristen, This is my boyfriend Jacob."

Jasper is sexy, too sexy for his shirt, so sexy that it hurts, that's why he always looks like he's in pain.


I went to La Push, Washington, and all i got was this stupid imprint


-How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Chapter Five

Sometimes you have to change your mind to understand.

Yeah, if you're a brain dead monster.

  "I will kill you! I swear I will kill you for this Alice!" I shouted at her.

  I knew it didn't help, but what had she done? She ruined my plan of giving Jake a normal life.

  "You'll thank me, perhaps not now, but maybe in fifty-sixty years. Trust me Bella, it wasn't the right choice of leaving, and you know that yourself." Alice answered me. She didn't feel guilty; I could hear it on her voice. She will regret this!

  "Oh, Of course you know what the right choice is for us?" I screamed at her, I was really angry.  "You don't even see his future! You don't know anything!"

  I could hear Jake walk out of the forest on two feet, either he just ran unchanged or he changed before he came out the forest. But, he usually changes before he comes out of the forest.

  "Well, now you two can talk about it together. We'll se what he thinks." Alice said and walked past me nonchalantly. I just wanted to rip her apart!

  "Eh, we'll let you two guys talk alone. Come on Rose, let's go." Emmett said and dragged Rosalie with him when he walked after Alice out through door. The door just had time to close until Jake walked in through it.

  "What's wrong?" he said and I both heard and saw in his face-expression that he was really worried.

  I guess he has had time to think when he ran here about what's wrong. How could I tell him the truth? It would only hurt him. Maybe if I would run... No, that's just cruel. He would get hurt if I just ran out the door and leave him. But If I don't leave now I might not e able to leave him.

  "Eh, nothing" I said just trying to calm him down, but he just seemed to get more worried. What would I tell him? He deserved the truth, or would that just hurt him? Yes it would, but then what would I tell him?

  "Bella, I'm not stupid! What's going on?" He said and looked at me in a way that made me feel guilty. I looked down on a spot at the floor "Alice called me and said that I needed to come over here as soon as possible, or you would to something that would hurt us both."

  I wanted to tell him the whole truth, but would that just hurt him, right?

  He walked towards me but stopped when I looked him in the eyes. What did he see in my face expression? Was it anger, sadness or something else? I couldn't tell.

  "Bella, what's wrong? Please tell me. Have I done anything wrong or-" I needed to interrupt him there; he was not allowed to blame himself for anything that involved in.

  "You haven't done anything wrong. It's me; I have done everything wrong in every way that there is." Well, that's not a lie. But still that's just a part of the truth.

  "What now? I don't follow. I asked..." He thought for half a second "Why would you have done anything wrong, if I might ask? If there is someone that has broken the rules it is me. You have always thought of me, and you've always been careful, Bella."

  I couldn't say a word, he thought he had done several thing wrong, and I hadn't done anything wrong. That's just stupid, sick, un-right... How could he even think something like that?

  "Jake, have you been running into trees lately?" If he had been doing that it would explain why he is so stupid.

  "No, why would I?" He looked really surprised by the question. Well, who wouldn't?

  "You've lost your mind! You do never ever blame yourself and make me appear like the good one here. I'm the one who should be blamed, not you!" I felt enough angry as it was, but when Jake begun to laugh I just lost my mind. "What the hell is so funny?" I screamed at him. Why did he laugh? That's just stupid, and rude.

  "It's just that you always blame yourself for everything. That's not very healthy you know." He laughed and a big grin appeared on his face.

  Why wouldn't he understand that I didn't always blame myself? I just blame myself when I had done something wrong, like I always do.

  "Why don't you take this seriously?" I was still angry, and he noticed that. His grin disappeared when he studied me with his gaze.

  "I don't think it's anything to take seriously. You're just being stupid Bella."

  "I am not being stupid! If there is anyone who is being stupid here it's you!" I was going to continue, but he interrupted me by taking to quick steps towards me and then kissing me. I didn't want to argue with him anymore, it wasn't even the reason he came here in the first place.

  I answered the kiss, but not too intensive, I might loose control, you never know. I slowly backed out of the kiss and looked down at the floor. I couldn't meet his gaze, not right now.

  "Let's not argue anything more, ‘Kay?" No, I didn't want to argue anymore now, but he really needs to understand that he shouldn't blame himself.

Kapitel Ett

  "Måste vi göra detta?" frågade jag mamma för hundrade gången. Vi satt i taxin på väg till mammas nya killes hus i Forks, Washington.

  Jag och mamma kommer från Sverige, men när James hade varit i Sverige på semester och träffat mamma hade allt förändrats. Mamma hade blivit helt förälskad och bestämt sig direkt för att flytta med James. Men eftersom jag också fanns så hade mamma väntat.

  Men mamma var överlycklig, hon älskade USA och allt som hade med det att göra, det var därför jag hette Kristen; ett helt vanligt amerikansk namn. Men hon hade också gett mig ett vanligt svensk och amerikansk namn: Isabella. Men jag föredrog Bella men eftersom det bara var mitt andranamn så gjorde det inte så mycket.
  "Ja, gumman, det måste vi", suckade hon.

  När vi svängde av vägen och såg ett stort hus på höger sida av grusvägen lyste hon upp.

  "Vi är här" Kvittrade hon. Jag suckade och gick ur bilen.

  James bodde i ett stort gult hus med vita knutar. Lite väl uppseendeväckande för min smak.

  James kom småspringande ut ur huset. Han sprang fram till mamma och kysste henne romantiskt. Jag var tvungen att titta bort annars visste jag att jag skulle spy.

  Jag tog mina väskor och gick fram till James och mamma som nu bara kramades.
  "Where shall I put these?" Det var tur att jag var så bra på engelska nu när jag behövde använda det varje enstaka dag. Och vilken tur att mamma inte hade förälskat sig i någon som bodde i Kina, det skulle vara en utmaning.
"Follow me", sade James och tog mammas väskor. Mamma rodnade och mumlade något ohörbart.

  Jag och mamma följde James in i det stora huset. Men jag insåg snabbt att det bara såg stort ut på utsidan, inne var det väldigt litet och instängt. Jag visste att mamma skulle sätta sin prägel på allt detta direkt när vi hade riktigt flyttat in.

  Jag följde efter James upp för trappan till övervåningen. Övervåningen hade inga rum utan var bara ett helt rum som nu var mitt. Det var det största rummet i hela huset och jag visste direkt att James hade använt det som vind innan jag kom. Det var väldigt dammigt och instängt, och jag kunde svära på att jag hörde något krafsa i väggen bakom mig.

  Rummet var väldigt mörkt för alla fönster utom ett var fördraget. Jag suckade och satte ner mina väskor. Det fanns bara en säng som stod i det ena hörnet med ett nattduksbord bredvid sängen. En garderob stod några meter från sängen, ovanför garderoben fanns ett stort fönster i taket och det var det som inte var fördraget av alla fönster. Jag gick fram till fönstret som var bredvid min säng och tog bort gardinerna som var för.

  Jag hörde James gå ner för trappan och suckade lättat. Sedan började jag packa upp alla mina kläder.

  När jag packat upp alla kläder gick jag och lade mig. James hade redan bäddat sängen till mig, det var lila påslakan och lakan.

  Jag hade väldigt svårt för att somna. Antingen på grund av knastret på fönstren från regnet, eller min gråt, eller båda delarna. Men någon gång så somnade jag och sov genom hela natten.
  Nästa morgon så vaknade jag av min väckarklocka, jag gick upp och tog på mig ett par slitna jeans och en svart enkel blus. Jag brydde mig inte så mycket om hur jag såg ut, denna dag skulle ändå bli fruktansvärd. Jag gick nerför trappan och in i köket.

  Det tog längre tid än det borde för jag var tvungen att titta in i vartenda rum, vilket var otroligt jobbigt. Mamma stod vid spisen och lagade pannkakor. Jag plockade upp ett äpple ut en fruktkorg och tog ett bett.
  "Mamma, hur ska jag komma till skolan hade du tänkt?"
  "Enkelt, James har ordnat en bil till dig", sade mamma med ett leende.

  "Och hur hade du tänkt att jag skulle använda den? Jag är bara sexton år, mamma, om du nu hade glömt det." Sade jag och tog ännu ett bett av äpplet.

"Såklart jag inte har, men här i USA får man köra när man är sexton."

"Men inkluderar inte det ett körkort och jag vet inte, körlektioner?"

"James kommer att köra dig till skolan idag och ikväll kommer James köra dig till en körskola så du kan lära dig att köra själv. Han är redan utomhus." Jag suckade och tog min väska och jacka på vägen ut.

  På uppfarten till huset så stod en gammal skrotig Saab och James stod lutad mot den med ett flin på läpparna.

  Kunde denna dag bli ännu värre? Jag fick svaret kort därefter.

  Skolan var avskyvärd, alla elever stirrade på mig som om jag var en äcklig insekt. Ingen sade hej eller gjorde någon ansträngning att lära känna mig. Lärarna brydde sig heller inte så mycket om mig.

  När skolan var slut skyndade jag mig till parkering där mamma väntade. Jag stirrade bara efter mammas bil, jag såg inte var jag gick och gick därför in i något hårt och iskallt. Det kändes som en vägg men när jag tittade upp såg jag att jag hade gått in i en otroligt vacker tjej.

  "Sorry", mumlade jag. Tjejen hade brunt skinande hår och blek hud. Hennes ögon hade en konstig nyans av gyllenbrunt.
"No excuse me, I shouldn't have been standing here." ursäktade hon sig. Men hon hade redan blivit förlåten innan hon öppnade sig mun.
"No harm done", sade jag och tittade in i hennes ögon. Hon tittade åt höger och det var först då jag insåg att hon stod hand i hand med en kille.

  Han var så utomordentligt snygg att jag tappade andan. Killen hade samma nyans ögonfärg som tjejen och samma vita bleka hud. Hans hår var rödbrunt med en rätt rufsig frisyr. Tjejen tittade på mig igen med ett stort leende.
"My name is Bella Cullen", sade hon och sträckte fram en hand. Jag gillade Bella extremt mycket. Fast vi bara hade pratat i några minuter så kändes det som om vi kunde bli riktigt bra kompisar.
"Bella", sade killen med varning i hans röst.
"Edward, don't."

  Jag brydde mig inte om deras lilla samtal istället skakade jag hennes hand. Den var iskall.
"This is my husband Edward", sade hon och tittade upp på Edwards utsökta ansikte. Bellas ögon smalnade och Edward sträckte fram hans hand med ett leende på läpparna.
"Nice to meet you", sade han medan jag skakade hans hand, den var lika iskall som Bellas hand hade varit.

 Men sen kom jag på en sak: Bella och Edward gick inte på denna skolan. Jag visste det för att annars skulle jag ha sett dem och kommit ihåg dem. Och om dom är gifta så tror jag inte att dom går här heller.
  "So, you obviously don't go at this school, so what brings you here?" Jag var väldigt nyfiken
  "Obviously?" frågade Edward och det var första gången jag hörde hur otroligt vacker hans röst var.
  "Yeah, I should have seen you if that were the case."
  "We're here to pick up Edward's sister", förklarade Bella och jag hörde samma sak med hennes röst, den var så vacker, så melodisk.

  Edward och Bella stod och tittade in i varandras ögon tills Edward tittade rakt fram och hans ögon smalnade.
"Edward, what's wrong?" frågade Bella ängsligt.
"Renesmee", svarade han henne.

Chapter Four

Leaving your true love for their best, that's a good thing. Right...?

  "What? Have you really thought this through? I mean, he means so much to you." Esme said when I had explained to them that we would leave.

  I stood in the living room, at least I thought so. It smelled like it. I hadn't look up one time since I came in through the front door.

  "Bella, we can leave. But we want you to come with us. We can handle you even if you are a wreck. Don't leave by yourself. Please." Alice begged. She saw what I had thought; I would leave by myself and try to find something that would take my mind of Jake. Even thought I didn't think anything could.

  "What?" Rosalie said and looked up at me. "Aren't you leaving with us?" she sounded offended, like I had said something mean about her outfit or something. The only time she ever got offended was when someone pointed out something wrong about her.

  "No, I will go on my own. You other guys can move where ever you want, just you move out of here." I said and I couldn't look at anyone when I said that. I knew that their faces would be either angry or sad, or something else.

  "No." Rosalie said, now she was angry. "We won't leave our home without you. If you don't move with us, we won't leave." Why was she angry? She had never liked me; at least she never showed it.

  "She thinks it will help the dogs, doesn't she?" she asked and looked at Alice. I saw Alice nod her head. She knew that I had planned to tell them that if they weren't so happy about leaving, like they were now. But according to Rose that wouldn't have helped.

  "Where's Carlisle?" I asked. I hadn't notice that he wasn't here.

  "He had to work overtime at the hospital. There had been a lot of car crashes the last couple of days." Esme said and I could hear she wasn't happier about this than Rosalie.

  "Well then... Tell him goodbye. If you don't move away," I looked at everyone, making eye contact to them. "Then I will move away so Jake won't be in danger every time we see each others." I said and felt that everybody stared.

 I didn't care; I just turned around and ran up the stairs.

 I didn't want to do this, but if it means that Jake wouldn't be in danger every time I touched him, then it was the right choice. I could go to Anchorage in Alaska. We were there a long time ago, I could go back there.

  I started to pack some clothes I needed, like my favourite jeans and t-shirts.

  "Please, don't do this." Rosalie begged when she came in through the door. Why would I stay? Jake meant everything for me, and I could leave my family for him, right?

  "Please." She begged again.

  "Why? What do you care?" I snapped back. It wasn't fair to her, but why would she all-of-a-sudden be my bff?

  "Well. For a start, I would miss you." she looked like she was admitting something really embarrassing. "And Jake? He will be devastated!" she sat down in my couch and putted her hand on my fist. I had closed my hands as if I would punch someone. And I would punch something or someone if she didn't leave me alone.

  "Ha! Ha, ha! You would miss me? Ha, ha!  That's a good one Rose." I said with sarcasm.

  "No, I am being honest to you. I would miss you. I'm sorry if I haven't been that nice to you, but when you came here, I felt like you were going to be the new me. Like you were going to take my place as the prettiest." She looked down. I guessed that she was embarrassed to admit it.  She had been worried that I would take her place? That a laugher-provoking! No one could be prettier than Rose; she's the prettiest vampire on the planet.

  "I'm serious, but I realized you were okay when I already had been a bitch for to long. I'm sorry for that. You are totally okay. Please, don't leave." Yeah, she was right. It's a little too late to apologize now.

  "And I ‘m serious about my decision; I'm leaving Jake so he could have a normal life"

  "He can't have a normal life, he's a werewolf. For god's sake, Bella, stop this bullshit!"

  "It isn't bullshit! I can understand that you don't understand, you're in spite of everything blond. But I can explain again; I'm leaving." I pulled my hand away from hers and closed the bag. I was going to leave, now.

  "You know, I think Alice is calling Jake right now." Rosalie said when I was about to lift my bag. I stared at her and listened, Alice was talking to someone.

  "No she isn't!" I said between my teeth and ran down the stairs and into the living room. Everybody sat just as they were when I left.

  "Alice, what are you doing?" I whispered in a dark, angry voice. I was so angry, why would she call Jake? I was doing this for him. I would be in pain when I was away from him, but I didn't care.

  "Yes. No. Eh, Bella wants to talk to you. Can you come over? Okay. Good bye." Alice ended the call and turned around to look at me. I was furious!

  "Jake is coming. He had begun to run before we had finished talking. He truly loves you, Bella. You love him, too. You can't leave him."

  "Yes I can. It's the right thing to do. He can have a normal life if I leave." I growled at her.

  "No Bella, he can't live a normal life. And it would be like if I would leave Jasper just because I saw that we would die one day in a thousand years." Jasper growled when she said that. "But I wouldn't. I would rather live one day with him than a thousand years without him."

  "But you don't make a threat to Jasper every time you touch him. It's not the same thing. And now how could I leave? It would break his heart then."

  "He's here in about five minutes." Alice said and looked at me.

  What am I going to do?

Det var kapitel Fyra, hoppas ni gillade det ^^

Chapter Three

Feeling Guilty could make you do things, that's right isn't it?

  "Bella!" Alice said and hugged me when she came home from the hunting. I guessed she wanted to know about Jake. She always wants to know.

  "Hi." I said with a tone that obviously wasn't excited and she noticed that. But she didn't care, she were still speeded from the hunting. She always got speeded right after hunting.

  "Tell me" she said and I didn't even have time to sigh before she continued. "Please, You know I don't like being blind." And she looked at me with a look that no one could resist. I sighed loud so she could hear, and then took a deep breath and begun to tell her about the car. It was no lie, I just didn't tell the whole story.

  "I know that there was something else that happened." She accused me, and she was true. There had happened something else.

  "I don't know what you're talking about" I lied. And I don't need her gift to know that she had figure my bad acting lie.

  "You know you're awfully bad at lying, just so you know." Alice laughed. I sighed, I guess I was forced to tell.

  "Do you really want to hear? I don't really want to tell. It is... It is kind of embarrassing." I said. I schouldn't really had said that, Alice just got more interested when I said ‘embarrassing'. I sighed and told her about the kiss with Jake. I guess Jake won't like this.

  "Yes, it's maybe that way. If you two just practice maybe you'll be really good at it. Or maybe it is just you that needs to practice?" She said when I told her about the thought I had earlier this day when I were with Jake, ‘Maybe practise gives skills.'

  "Yes, he doesn't have to worry about what if he would loose control and hurt me; I'm almost unbreakable. But he isn't." I shook my head and looked down at the floor. I couldn't even think about it without feeling guilty. He had been in pain because of me.

  "But Bella, it didn't happen anything this time. Why should it happen the next time? You are too worried about everything, even worse than Esme." Alice said. And maybe I was too worried; it was one time. But no, I can't think that way. Not when it is about Jake. He is my life, or maybe existence is a better word for it. If I only were human, we wouldn't have anything to worry about. No, then I wouldn't have anything to worry about. He doesn't take this seriously.

  "What are you thinking of?" Alice asked when I didn't say anything for a while.

  "Nothing. Everything. I don't know. This is just so complicated." I whined to her. I had never been this pathetic; I'm sitting here and whining to Alice. She has her own problems; I shouldn't make everybody else feel bad because I feel awful.

  "You really do feel bad about this, don't you?" she said and I felt guiltier for making her feel bad just because I feel bad.

  "No. No, I just... You shouldn't..." I couldn't think of anything that could say to her so she would believe me; I was a bad actress, though.

  "You can't keep blame yourself, and you know that. If you want to keep seeing Jake you got to stop this. I guess he doesn't like this either." She said and I felt that she looked at me. But I couldn't look back. I knew she was right. Why would Jake want to stick around if I behaved like this? It's a miracle that he wants to be with me anyhow.

  "You're right. I'm sorry. I will try to change. It's not that easy you know." I said and I felt like I meant it. Because I did, I will try to change, for Jake.

  "I've never said it was easy, but it's good you will try." She kissed me on my forehead and then se left. "Bye, Jasper wants to play a little" and when she said that I could almost me hundred percent sure she smiled. I laughed for myself when I thought about what she meant with ‘play'. Oh.  Oh.

  "Too much information, Alice!" I said loudly to her. I know she heard me.

  When I said that I could hear Alice's and Jasper's laugh on the second floor. I needed to get out of this madhouse, now!

  "Why?" I screamed into the empty forest; it was a storm coming and all the animals where hiding.

  I sat on a fallen tree. It had been laying here for a while, because it was green moss all over the stock. I sat as still as a statue, feeling the breeze and all the smells around.

  I smelled three deer's two hundred metres away from me, but I didn't care. I didn't care that I was thirsty; I needed to think. But maybe if I drank I would be able to think better? I didn't think anymore, I just let my senses take over and I begun to run after the deer's.

  I sat on the fallen tree again with my thirst satisfied, at least as satisfied as it could be with animals, and begun to think, maybe now I could think better.

  Maybe Jake would be better of without me? Maybe he will find a nice girl and get imprinted on her. If I would leave, maybe he will find someone who he could kiss without worrying about if he would have some broken bones. Maybe it will all work out just fine for him, just if I leave him, and my family, too. All vampires would leave and the werewolf's would be gone, too. They wouldn't need to exist, the vampires would leave and they would be normal? I don't know all about the werewolf's, but they don't do either. So maybe he will be normal, get a wife and some beautiful black-haired kids. I saw the picture of Jake and a beautiful woman beside him, looking at two small, black-haired boys playing.

 If I just had the power to stay away from him and never come back again, that could happen, and he would be happy.

  When I begun to ran back to the house I had made up my mind. I would leave him alone. And so would my family, too. We would leave tonight and break the bonds right of.


Det där var kapitel tre, och jag hoppas ni tyckte om det :D
Ett nytt kapitel kommer senare ^^

Ett stort tack till
Emelie Wahlin
som har gjort Headern till bloggen!

Tack! den vart jätte fin! :D

Chapter two

When you open someone's eyes, you often open your own eyes, too. And you shouldn't be afraid if you see all the horrible things.

  "Bella! Oh, Bella!" Jake said when he ran against me. He had seen me when I came out of the woods next to his house.

  "Jake!" I said and ran into his arms, carefully of course. Then I carefully hugged him. He hugged me back as hard as he could -Not that I was in pain of it, and then he began to kiss my neck and then my cheek. He tried to kiss me, but I wasn't sure I had the power to control myself. Even though he didn't smell like a human, that was a good thing even though. If he had smelled like a human, I couldn't have been able to control myself.  I slowly backed out of his arms and then I took his hand and putted it on my chest.

  "If I would have a heart, it would be beating as fast as a hummingbird right now." I smiled and looked deep in his beautiful, black-brown eyes.

  He took my right and putted it on his warm chest; I could feel his heart beat fast, really fast.

  "You do have a heart, you have mine. Forever." He smiled and leaned forward to kiss me, I didn't care to move back. I wanted to show him that I really loved him. And I truly do. But I'm just afraid to hurt him again. He's unnatural warm lips were shaped around mine.

  I leaned back and looked at his eyes again before it got too far, they were shut and he breathed like when someone had been running a marathon race. And that isn't something usual, because he never got breathless.

I dragged my gaze from his eyes to his lips; they looked so warm and smooth. I just wanted to touch them, just... no.

  Be selfish. Kiss him. The voice in my head told me. But what if I hurt him again? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened. No! I thought back. Even thought he heals fast he will still be in pain if I loose control. No. No...

  "Please. I trust you. You won't hurt me." He said and stroke me on the cheek with his finger.

  "But what if I do? I wouldn't be able to live with myself... I don't think that's a gr-"

  I was interrupted by his lips pushed to mine. He laid his hands in the back of my head and pushed my head towards his. He opened my mouth -I will have to add that I didn't put up with much a fight; I wanted this as much as he- and the kissed began for real. I could do this all day every day. Just if I weren't a monster who all-of-a-sudden could loose control.

  He leaned back when he needed to catch his breath. My breathing was fast, even though I didn't need to breathe at all.

  "You see, there was nothing to worry about." He said and kissed me lightly on my lips. "And by the way, I love you."

  "Just as I love you. If it weren't for you, I would probably still wonder why everyone in my family was so happy around their loved ones." I had never loved someone in the way I loved Jake before. So that thing with Carlisle and Esme for example, I didn't know how they could be so happy around each others after all this time. "But you opened my eyes you know." I could tell him anything, even if I hadn't thought that out that good. It was so easy to tell him things, and I don't even know if that sounded so well.

  He looked at me and it looked like he was going to cry. I started to regret that I said anything, what if I just had hurt him in any way?

  "Just like me. Bella, you opened my eyes to you know." He said and wiped away a tear with the back of his hand that was rolling down his cheek.

  "Tell me, how did I open your eyes?" I wondered and kissed his lips even lighter that he had done.

  He sighed and opened his eyes. "I was so sick of everybody in the pack. All they were thinking of were their imprints, and I was so tired at it! I was so close to seriously considering running away, just getting away from it. But then you came into my life. And then I suddenly understood everybody. You opened my eyes to love." He said and I felt that only if I could, I would cry. I didn't let him say anything more, I just kissed him. Lightly and fully hearted. He answered my kiss. It was easier this time to not loose control. Maybe it is like they say; practise gives skills.

  I leaned back when I felt like it was going a little too far, a little to early according to Jake's sigh.

  "I love you." I whispered to him and leaned my forehead on his chest. He was the only one who could make me feel smoking hot inside, and it wasn't just because he was so hot he would have been dead if he was an ordinary human, but because he was the love of my life. I can't ever love anyone more than I love him.

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